Don't Just Hang in There...Hang on to God

This month has been overwhelming at times, full of emotional highs and lows of a great variety. I predicted it would be a kind of wild ride, and I was right. It is hard to try to form all of that into meaningful words for my readers, so I think I'll just stick to one lesson I have learned (or perhaps, have relearned) this month.

It started with a radio show I tuned in to on my drive home from a training session at my new job. The DJ was sharing how God does not require us to "tough it out" when things in our lives completely knock us off balance, but rather, God often emphasizes how He wants us to lean on Him in the hard times.

The DJ specifically spoke out against a common misquote of 1 Corinthians 4: 13. This verse says, "No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it." He (and I) had heard this verse quoted without the mention of temptation, as a way of saying, "God won't give you anything you can't handle in this life, so if you are buckling under the load, toughen up."

It is Okay to Be Broken Before God

But anyone who has ever lost a loved one, or been diagnosed with a terminal illness, or discovered that their spouse was cheating on them, or maybe has just been suffering from extreme stress due to a crowded schedule, may have reason to say that this teaching is a bunch of malarkey.  You know what? It really is.

Sometimes things come along that we can't handle. It's not that we don't try to--no one likes to feel weak or broken--but sometimes, it is just beyond our ability to endure. Why is this such a novel thought? There is nothing in the Bible that says that only tough, superhuman people need apply for the position of Christ follower!  In fact, we serve a God who meets us in our weakness instead of only supporting us in our strengths (Psalm 73: 21-28), and who teaches us and comforts us to make us strong, rather than expecting instant perfection and nerves of steel (2 Corinthians 12:9; Proverbs 3: 5-6). It is okay with our God if we admit defeat and ask Him to intervene on our behalf or to give us peace and reassurance (1 Peter 5: 6;  Isaiah 37).  It is okay with Him if we hand our problem over to Him and let Him take over the worrying and the grief for awhile, while we try to get some sleep, or make dinner, or finish our homework (1 Peter 5: 7).

In fact, He volunteered for the job!  He volunteered because He loves us and feels compassion for us.

The bottom line is that we aren't supposed to "stick it out," because in doing that, we are holding ourselves up by our own strength, which is very limited, instead of leaning on God's infinite strength. God is actually the only one in control. He is the only one who can bring healing, the only one who can give guidance about the future, the only one who can bring peace, and the only one who can lead us out of the dire situations in which we find ourselves. It is folly to try to "be strong," but great wisdom to be broken before God, so that He can heal us.  In fact, He promised to heal us, so we should go to Him today.

When God Thunders from Heaven, Everything Changes

The past few months have been strange ones...come to think of it, 2013 as a whole has been full of unexpected changes. Sometimes those changes were bittersweet. My friendship circle was rearranged as people have moved away and others have been added to my life; my neighborhood was rearranged by a devastating tornado that hit my hometown; my daily routine was rearranged by the sudden departure of my beloved dog at the beginning of the year; and my plans for the future of my novel trilogy project have been temporarily stalled out after several rejections (but, as the famous line goes, I have not yet begun to fight).

Add to that the part-time job I'm starting tomorrow and I think you get the picture. It has been a dizzying sort of year for me. Frankly, I don't know if I've reached the end of the roller-coaster ride at this point or if it's still climbing one last big slope. What I do know is that God is somehow at the helm of all of this.

I can't help but reread my prophetic words in my very first post of the year with a little wistfulness: "The new year is going to be a time of completion, of finishing projects I've begun, of following through and turning plans into action, particularly the plans God has for my life. Believe me, I have a lot of things to get done this year."

I see clearly now that what I had in mind when I penned those words was far too small.  I knew that where I was then, from a spiritual, emotional, physical, and financial standpoint, was not a place where I could linger and thrive, and I had asked God for some help. Still, somehow, I was only thinking of washing the windows and adding a new coat of paint and maybe some hedges, while God was rolling back clouds, moving mountains, and picking up the chainsaw and the sledgehammer.

I'm not complaining, although I felt like it at first. What is now taking shape is something beautiful, with space to grow and live, and a new horizon, with many of the old threats and fears removed from their shadowy nooks where they had bothered me for years. Sure, there is loss, and I have accepted that, but as David wrote in the Psalms, "He brought me out into a spacious place; he rescued me because he delighted in me," (Psalm 18: 19 NIV).

David was, of course, talking about the field of war and prophetically speaking from Christ's perspective, but the point still works for this part of my life, and perhaps for my readers, too. When a Christian asks God for rescue (no matter what variety of trouble he or she is dealing with at the time), God moves to respond, with fury and seriousness, either tossing aside obstacles or ripping us out of them. It can be a stunning process, but it's still what we needed.

Leading up to verse 19 in Psalms 18 (which you really must read in its entirety), we see just how seriously God takes the call. From the moment He hears our request, His reactions range from getting furiously angry on our behalf (verses 7 and 8), to "part[ing] the heavens and c[oming] down," (verse 9), to "thunder[ing] from Heaven," that is, shouting (verse 13), and many other definite actions. The bottom line is that God takes it very seriously and acts immediately (even if we can't see everything He is doing) when we say, "Something has to change. I need help!"

I believe what I've been describing as "2013 so far" is the clouds parting and the earth shaking as God moves me somewhere, out of the familiar (but rather unlivable) circumstances and into something I know will be better. Maybe that strikes a chord with someone out there. Sure, change can hurt, but I still believe it is for the best. It's too soon to tell where I'm going, but I believe God is there, and I take comfort in that.

Question: Have you seen God changing things in your life recently? Can you find the good in your new circumstances? I welcome you to share your thoughts below.

Let Us Reason Together, Part 3: The Path of the Meek

"You make a good point. I'm, I guess, kind of, s-s-s-so-sor....ahem, well, you know what I mean."

 For the past two weeks we've been on the topic of the Christian way to have a discussion that may include disagreements and differences of opinion. In part one, we talked about kindness in debate, and in part two, we talked about listening and working with others when we encounter obstacles and problems in the discussion. This week, we're going to talk about where humility and meekness come into a discussion.

Now, most people have great difficulty saying the words "I'm sorry," and "I was wrong," and "You were right." However, in a serious discussion, there is usually a time and a place for these words.  The Bible instructs us to, "Live in peace with each other," (1 Thessalonians 5: 13 NIV), and this is not really a one-time warning. Disagreements should not be the normal mode of our lives. The fact that they are explains why there are so many unresolved conflicts in the world, from divorces to wars and generational feuds, both inside and outside the Christian community.

But God has called Christians to be meek and humble as Christ was, even when we get into an argument. What exactly does God mean by that, and what exactly is He expecting us to do? Let's find out.

Define Meekness and Humility

Meekness is sometimes mistaken for weakness. According to the dictionary, the word means "showing patience and humility; gentle, submissive." These don't seem to be winning traits in an argument, but Jesus Himself praised them highly. He even mentioned meekness specifically in a sermon known as the Beatitudes: "Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth," (Matthew 5:5 NIV).

Jesus didn't just praise meekness; He lived it while He walked the earth. He was patient with the Pharisees (Jewish teachers of the law), and He was patient with the weaknesses and failings of His disciples, explaining to them over and over again the basic lessons they were slow to learn. He was gentle with Peter, even after Peter denied even knowing Him. Jesus was submissive to the authorities and leaders who tried Him in a sham court, tortured Him, and executed Him. Above all else, Jesus was humble, obeying God's plan with strict obedience like a servant or slave, no matter what others thought of Him, instead of trying to get His own way or preserve His own dignity.

Meekness sounds like a pattern for losers, yet it is strength in God's service. Jesus could have been a "heavy hitter," always forcing His point across and demanding that others give Him honor above everyone else. He certainly had the authority to do so! Instead, He came to show us that God wants willing friends, not drafted enemies. Meekness means putting aside one's own feelings, desires, and will for a little while, in the interest of giving another person freedom and honor. This is not popular, but no one could argue that it is bad.

Blessed are the meek,
for they will inherit the earth. Matthew 5:5 NIV

By being meek toward God and obeying His plan all the way to the point of death, Jesus gave God the chance to prove Himself and His plan to be right and good. God rewarded that obedience with resurrection and eternal life. By being meek toward His fellow man, Jesus earned the approval of everyone. They might not have agreed with Him, but they couldn't find fault with the way He treated them, and they were even confronted with the reality that they needed to be more like Him if they wanted to call themselves righteous.

So, how do the meek inherit the earth? While the forceful cut to the head of the line and gain some prosperity and honor along the way from their fellow man, the meek choose righteousness over human approval, and in the end, God honors them with the gift of eternal life.

Meekness is delaying a certain type of gratification (gratification of our need for honor and approval), until that moment, which may come many years later, when that need will be fully satisfied by God, in a much larger way than any crowd of people could have accomplished. After all, "[God] mocks proud mockers but shows favor to the humble and oppressed," (Proverbs 3: 34 NIV).

Winning or Losing Gracefully

Right in line with this discussion on meekness is the topic of how to win (or lose) gracefully, that is, in a meek and humble way.  It might seem like a good idea to rub it in and celebrate our victory openly when our side wins and the other side loses, particularly when there was no question that our side was backed by God's approval. However, this is what the Bible says: "Do not gloat when your enemy falls; when they stumble, do not let your heart rejoice, or the Lord will see and disapprove and turn his wrath away from them," (Proverbs 24: 17-18 NIV).

In fact, there are several recorded prophecies against neighboring kingdoms who gloated and rejoiced when Israel was taken into captivity in Babylon (in books like Jeremiah, Amos, Nahum, and Zephaniah).  God punished Israel's sin first because of their hypocrisy, but at the same time, He swore to punish their neighbors as well, because overlooking their sins at that moment would have been hypocritical on His part. What was God trying to say? Only that when a human enemy loses, we should pause and learn from it, so that we don't fall for the same kind of reasons. After all, it very well could have been us, if we had chosen differently.

On the other side of the coin, if we find ourselves the losers of an argument, we shouldn't be sore losers. If we have been proven wrong, we should remember that "Love...rejoices with the truth," (1 Corinthians 13: 6 NIV), and warmly receive the truth that has been shown to us.  Even though it may not be what we were hoping for, we know that it is what is good for us. If we have lost unjustly, we should remember that Jesus was meek when dealing with His enemies, because He was trying to give them another chance and win them over.  Being petty and immature certainly isn't going to do that.

The Power of Apology

 So, let's say we've forgotten to be meek and humble, and gloated over our victory, or said a few things we probably shouldn't have. There is still a chance to humble ourselves. It's called an apology.  Yeah, I know, most of us are fairly allergic to that word, and when we apologize, it's often half hearted or partially left to the imagination. A total apology feels like losing part of ourselves, and it probably is.

As a wise friend once said to me, "God doesn't want to hurt your pride. He wants to kill it." Pride is the thing that dies when we humble ourselves, become servants to the one we hurt, and ask forgiveness. Pride is an over-inflated sense of self, and it leads to separation from God and others. It is our downfall, as it says in Proverbs 16: 18 (NIV), "Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall."  God wants to defeat our pride, because He doesn't want to see our destruction.

That means that if we have to give up any victory we've gained in a dispute by apologizing, we must do it. It might not change a thing with our opponent, but it's what our soul needs (see Matthew 5: 21-24).  Since a real, heartfelt apology is incredibly rare in this world, it might get approval from others. It might. That doesn't mean it will. Apologies are more about setting things right between our hearts and God than they are about winning arguments. Nevertheless, this needed to be mentioned, because it's essential to being a meek Christian.

In Summary

God's position on meekness is entirely contradictory to what the world perceives as strength in a discussion. He honors those who are kind, patient, and servant-like over those who push forward and gain victory in any way they can. He sets the meek apart from the mainstream by directing them to continue this pattern of meekness, even after a victory, even after a defeat, even when the time for apologies has come.

Why does God make such a point about meekness? Because it is part of His very character, and He wants our character to be more like His--healthy and above reproach. The point is not whether we win the temporal argument and vanquish our fellow man, but rather that during and all through an argument, we continue to honor our Savior, so that we can one day enjoy our eternal reward and lasting inheritance with the Lord.

 Hope in the Lord and keep his way.  He will exalt you to inherit the land; when the wicked are destroyed, you will see it. (Psalm 37: 34 NIV)